The Connections We Make

There is something uniquely gratifying when you stumble upon an unsuspected life lesson.  The type of lesson that sticks with you.  That guides you.  That gives you hope.  That sometimes, if you're lucky, gives you answers.

In May of 2003, on the eve of graduating from college, I did just that — stumbled into a meaningful moment in the most unlikely of circumstances.

Equally unlikely is the fact that a hotel lobby encounter starring Charles Barkley serves as a prime example of the valuable lesson I learned that night. More on that in a moment...

First, the backstory.

The Backstory

In May of 2003, on the eve of graduating from college, a group of friends and I made our final celebratory (and obligatory) trip to Timothy's Bar and Grill.

Timothy's Bar and Grill is an iconic college bar located on the campus of the University of Dayton, my alma mater.  The raucous watering hole is nestled in the heart of UD's "Ghetto", the student neighborhood that UD's upperclassmen call home.  Tim's is a vintage college hangout — a hole-in-the-wall bar renowned for its happy hour specials, pub grub and late-night dance music.

Among the group headed out for our last hurrah at Tim's (as students, anyway) were dozens of friends I met over my four-year stint at UD, all representing different towns scattered across the midwest.

My closest friend of the bunch was born and raised in Louisville, Kentucky.  As the clock wound down on our "college careers," him and I stood reminiscing about a trip we made to the Kentucky Derby our sophomore year.  Right in the middle of our stroll down memory lane, another friend brazenly interrupted us to pose a random question.

"How in the hell does a crazy Irishman from Cleveland (me) and a Kentucky hill-billy (my close friend) become best friends?  Somebody, please explain that one to me," he said.

"I'll tell you how," my Kentucky friend replied, as he took a sip of his bourbon.  "It's pretty damn simple. Good people find good people."

I don't know what it was, but that moment — or perhaps his answer — deeply resonated with me.

I've always been fascinated by the connections we make.  The people we meet.  The friendships that we cultivate, and how it all gels together.  My friend's answer, as primitive as it was, seemed to shed so much light on the matter.

Good people find good people.

It sounds so simple.  So elementary.  Yet it's so wise — and enlightening — all at the same time.

Now, back to Charles Barkley.

Case Study: Charles Barkley & Lin Wang

Over the holidays,  I came across an article written by Shirly Wang.  In her post, Shirley recounts her dad's moving, albeit random, friendship with former NBA superstar Charles Barkley.

Shirley's dad, Lin Wang, moved from China to Iowa in the late '90s.  He met Barkley during a chance meeting in a hotel bar in Sacramento.  That chance meeting led to a friendship that was enduring as it was unexpected.

In her article, Shirley describes her dad, a cat-litter chemist with a Ph.D., as "a quirky suburban dad who wore striped red polo shirts and would get excited about discounts."  The differences in the lives and personalities of her dad and the television celebrity are what made the unusual friendship hard to believe at first, she wrote.

The friendship was sparked when Lin introduced himself and asked to take a picture.  After this initial meet-and-greet, the pair found themselves belly up at the same bar on three consecutive nights.  Conversations turned into dinners.  Dinners turned in to planned hangouts.  The rest, as they say, is history.

Lin and Barkley developed a friendship that was genuine and real.  They found similarities in their life paths — born out of challenges, successful by perseverance. More importantly, they shared a deep love for their children and the joy they brought to their lives.

Lin made regular appearances to the TNT studio to hang out on-set with Barkleys Inside the NBA co-hosts, Ernie Johnson, Kenny Smith, and Shaquille O'Neal.  In June of 2015 when Barkley's mother passed away, Lin made the trek all the way to Leeds, Alabama for the funeral.

In May 2016, Lin was diagnosed with cancer.  He had tumors on his heart.  Just over two years later, in June of 2018, Lin passed away.

To the amazement of Shirley's family, Barkley showed up in Iowa for the funeral.  A funeral, I might add, held the day after the NBA finals concluded.  In his role as a prominent television NBA analyst, I can assure you this was no small task.

Barkley valued his friendship with Lin so much that, despite just finishing his busiest stretch of television work throughout the entire year, he made it a point to be in Iowa City with his family.  He even delivered a eulogy at the funeral.

“I was talking to my childhood friend when she suddenly looked stunned. I turned to look behind me,” Shirley wrote in her story. “And standing there — drenched in sweat from the Iowa summer, towering over everyone in the room at 6 feet, 6 inches tall — was Charles Barkley.”

I can't recall the last story, sports-related or otherwise, that moved me in a way this one does.  Not only does it tug at my heart, it perfectly demonstrates the essence of my beloved "Tim's Tenet": that good people find good people.   A living, breathing example of what my friend from Kentucky proclaimed during our last night out in college.

Weekend patrons of Tim's are far more likely to come away with a hangover than they are a life-guiding principle.  The story of Charles Barkley and Lin Wang is a friendly reminder of how I happened to come away with both.

CPM